So today I received a call from my doctor. I was told I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). I might also be borderline diabetic. Really? I feel like as soon as I take two steps forward, I’m taking five steps back. So I’m doing my research on PCOS and man it is kinda overwhelming. At the same time, it explains a lot. So now I have to wait for the specialist to call me to schedule an appointment. I heard once that you should say “your glass is a little more than half full” to stay positive (rather than saying just half full), but keeping that mind frame just seems to get harder and harder. As soon as something goes well…bam…it seems like I get smacked in the face. And of course around the holidays is when people like to announce they are expecting. I’m happy for them, but of course it’s hard. I would never want a friend or family member to think I’m not happy for them, but sometimes it is so darn frustrating that I’m having these problems while others are having no problem at all. Sometimes I feel like I’m being selfish for feeling this way. And then I think how unless you’re in my shoes (which there are plenty of people out there that are) you can’t understand how I feel. 
On the upside, I’ve lost over 30 pounds so far (starting about 2 ½ months ago). And have more to go, but it’s a great start just by eating right.
You are not selfish for feeling the way you do. Of course we are happy for our friends & family when they make their announcements...... but we are still allowed to be sad for ourselves :(
ReplyDeleteAlso congrats on the weight loss..... another New Years resolution for me coming up!!!
Hi Jessi -
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the weight loss - that is incredible! I started using an iphone app (Lose it) to track calories a while back. It really helped me become more about the food choices I was making. My husband used it and lost 20 lbs. Grrr. if only it was that easy for me!!!
For me, the testing and waiting was the worst past of this journey. It was so hard to not have a plan. Every decision was dependent on the next round of tests, and the news was never good. Somehow we managed to keep falling into the "Wow, this diagnosis is so rare, you're in the 1% category here. We should repeat that to confirm it because it is so rare." Once we finally had a diagnosis and an action plan, I was able to deal with it all so much better.
You description of being slapped in the face is exactly how I felt for so long. It was like we just kept getting hit with bad news. Hang in there.
I imagine that the diabetes diagnosis is kind of scary. My girlfriend got a similar diagnosis during her infertility treatment journey, and crazy enough, once she got the blood sugar under control she conceived her miracle baby naturally.
Best wishes to you in 2011!
Hey Jessi! Congratulations on the weight loss! Maybe you can tell me that in a couple of months! ;) I just want you to know that your story is all to familiar to me! I am going through the same things! See if you can picture this... Sister-n-law 1 tells me she's preggo in March, Sister-n-law 2 tells me she's preggo in April, Cousin also tells me she's preggo in March... SNL 1 has baby Dec. 14, Cousin: Dec. 15, and SNL 2: Dec. 31!!! And it seems like both SNLs HAVE TO rub it in ALL the time! SNL to made it a point to rub her belly while I was around her, or talk constantly about her baby... ALL THE TIME!!! Talk about a slap in the face! Thought you'd get a kick out of that! ;)
ReplyDeletei'm sorry to hear that they do that to you. thats just not right. they can be happy for themselves, but should be sensitive around you. that is if they want you to be happy for them becuse acting like that, well i'm sure its hard for you. but hang in there!! and just think, if they keep it up you can buy their kids drum sets when they get older lol :)
ReplyDeleteI have PCOS and was diagnosed in 2007. You are loosing weight and the only way to control this beast is weight loss. your symptoms of PCOS will go down dramaticly. most of the girls that have PCOS get pregnant after loosing as little as 10% body fat. word of advise, dont read up on everything PCOS, it will be depressing, just look on the bright side of your weight loss which gets you one step closer.
ReplyDeleteif you have any questions or need to talk, just let me know.